How do I find a good mentor/advisor?

Here’s a process that I’ve developed and found to be effective:

For simplicity sake, I’ll use the word mentor throughout the article but it also applies to advisors.

Step 1: Identify what you want to learn.

It could be broad

e.g. How to build a successful e-commerce business, how to be a better father, how to be an aspirational leader.

Or it could be specific

e.g. How to raise my first round of seed funding, how to get my first $25k in sales, how do I cook great tasting and children friendly meals.

Step 2: Identify who is BEST at it.

Yes, you could learn from anyone who has seen success in that area, but if you’re going to take the time to make this person a strong mentor, might as well find the very best.

Don’t hold yourself back, using the process below, you can even get notable giants and celebrities to be your mentor (though it might take a little longer).

What makes a good mentor?

Aligned with your goals/values.
Easy to work with.
Gets your space/Industry/technology.
Functional expertise – sales/marketing/development…
Business Model experience – marketplace/freemium/membership/B2B…
Has a Network – connected and willing to make connections.
Has geographic relevance – to you or your customers.

Step 3: Get on their radar.

The objective here is to start to get noticed by them.

Do your research:
- Find out where they “hang out”, both in-person and virtually.
- How are you connected to them? Who in your existing network might help you get closer to them?
Attend the events that they attend, be present in the online channels that they are active in.
Ask questions (smart questions of course), engage in discussion. You want them to notice that you’re smart, proactive, and not afraid to speak up.
Hack: Get to know people in their network first. It’s often easier to approach their mentees, their friends, even their family members.

Storytime:

Back in 2014. Stephen (my accountability buddy) and I set out to find personal mentors for our business and professional careers.

Here’s Stephen’s story:

Decided that he wanted to learn how to rake in the $$$
Decided that Dan Lok – a local Vancouver based entrepreneur was someone who could best guide him on that given his track record and background in copywriting.
Started attending all of Dan Lok’s Meetups, started networking and meeting all of Dan Lok’s mentees.
When he was finally introduced to Dan Lok, it was a very warm introduction. Dan Lok actually said (and I paraphrase here):
- “Great to finally meet you, I’ve heard so much about you from people in my network, even my wife has mentioned you a few times”.

My story:

I wanted to start an incubator. But to do it, I first thought that it was important to build a successful business of my own.
Joined a bunch of different workshops by various incubators in Vancouver.
Met Keith Ippel, decided that his philosophy of building good businesses that not only profited, but also made the world a better place in the process really appealed to me.
Started volunteering for Spring, got to know the entire team at Spring, enrolled in one of their programs.
Only formally approached Keith to make him my mentor after completing the program and when I felt our relationship was strong enough.
Ended up getting hired at Spring (I decided that my best way to learn from Keith was to work directly under him).

Step 4: Build a relationship with them.

The best mentors are the ones that are personally vested in you, they sincerely care for you and want the best outcome possible regardless of compensation.

To take a slight detour, let’s talk about the differences between mentors vs. advisors:

Mentors

Typically not compensated.
Can be informal.
Provide you with both business and personal advice.
Usually for broader goals.
People you aspire towards and are inspired by.

Advisors

Typically compensated.
- $$$
- Shares
- In-kind/perks/products
Usually formalized.
- Vested (if shares).
- Terminated if the objective has been met/goals have changed/project is completed.
- Usually <2 years (as their ability to support diminishes as you and your business evolve over time).
Business focused.

Be it a mentor or an advisor, the more vested they are in your success, the more they care about you, the more they will do everything in their power to help you succeed.

Step 5? Make them your mentor.

Not a typo, yes that question mark is intentional.

Mentorship doesn’t need to come from a formal “will you be my mentor”.

In many situations, you can still get lots of value from a person and consider that person your mentor without formalizing the relationship

e.g. work for them, volunteer for them, ask them for advice, read their book, take their courses…

Making the best out of your mentor.

You need to know how you learn best and how you can learn the most from them. Remember, not everyone knows how to be a good mentor.

Here are some tips:

You need to lead the relationship.
- The mentor may have insights that have helped them in their life/situation, but remember, your situation may not be identical.
- Don’t blindly implement advice, understand why, and evaluate if it fits your objectives and serves you/your business.
Know what questions to ask.
- Be specific with your needs and areas of uncertainty – yes, but sometimes you don’t know what you don’t know. This is their job to point out your blind spots, but you still need to help them with raising your specific questions.
- Never ask the same question twice – it indicates that you didn’t listen the first time, or didn’t take action and are facing the same problem again.
Be diligent on deliverables, do what you say you’ll do. Report on results and lessons learned.
Be vulnerable and transparent.
- Mentors can’t give good advice if they don’t see the whole picture. Don’t worry about “looking good” and impressing them.
- Many business challenges can be traced to personal problems, expose those too if you’re aware of them.
Send regular updates
- Emails/calls/meetings as appropriate.
- Set up a regular schedule – weekly/monthly/quarterly.
- Consistency is key to build a strong relationship and keep the momentum going – remember “out of sight, out of mind”.
Get them active and not just online/passive.
- Have them make intros for you.
- Get them to visit your office in-person so they can really get a feel for the situation and your team.
- Have whiteboard sessions together.
- But you should never have them do your work for you – they help with strategy and can show you how if necessary, but you should be the one that executes.

Mentor meetings

Have an agenda.
Send documents in advance – so you don’t have to spend time playing catchup.
Respect their time.
- 30-min to 1-hour max.
- Don’t be late.
Start with Q&A.
- Let them ask clarifying questions.
- Know what questions you have and what you’re looking for clarity on.
Stick to your main discussion plans and don’t go off-topic.
Wrap up with specific Action Items.

Final comments

If you’re looking for a personal mentor, and you don’t quite know exactly what you want to learn yet.

Look for someone who you respect and want to emulate. Someone who you want to be in their position/lifestyle a few years from now.

Then apply Steps 3-5 as above.

Questions:

A friend posed some great questions to me on LinkedIn. Here are some of my thoughts:

Can you elaborate on how to balance taking advice from a mentor with maintaining one’s own unique approach and perspective?

It starts with first understanding your personal values. Advice can be good or bad depending on context and a person’s value. If you understand the values that inform your decisions, it helps you understand what is the “right” decision for you. A good mentor wouldn’t prescribe a solution (but not all mentors know to be mindful of this), instead, they know that it’s more about encouraging you to consider different options and to help you get to the option that’s right for you.

Read: Values in Decision Making to understand this better: https://caremethodology.com/business-strategy-process/sales-leadership/values/

What are some common mistakes people make when trying to build a relationship with a potential mentor, and how can these be avoided?

Expecting the mentor to spoon feed you. No, mentees should always be the one driving the relationship. You ask for feedback/input, you determine if and when you need to meet. You need to know how to ask the right questions and learn in the way that is right for you.
Formalizing the relationship. Really, there’s no need to ask someone to “be your mentor”. This unnecessary title comes with a lot of expectation and it makes the relationship awkward sometimes.
Not sharing regularly and transparently. Build a rhythm for sharing updates (both good and bad), and don’t be afraid to mix personal with business. Businesses are run by people – and everyone has personal problems. It’s foolish to pretend that you can separate both and that they don’t influence each other.

How can individuals align their personal values with their career choices, especially when faced with opportunities that may conflict with their core values?

This is a tough one. Career choices depend on a few factors (there may be more I’m overlooking):

What opportunities we have.
Constraints of our situation.
If we have the right skills to take them on.
and of course whether or not they align with our values.

Ultimately, we may sometimes sacrifice value alignment if we’re faced with limited options e.g. desperately needing a job and only a limited number of companies willing to hire. But as you can imagine, this will lead to a lot of dissatisfaction and eventually you’ll need to move on to something else. Ideally, you’d find a career and company to work for that aligns.

The good news is that the current job market is favourable for employees. The workforce is shrinking in most countries (as baby boomers age out of the workforce and a smaller population of millennials replace them), quiet quitting it isn’t just a COVID phenomenon. There are more jobs than there are employees now so employees have the leverage in the job market. This means we have more options to select from and can be more picky with finding a career that is better aligned with our values and needs.

Most people search for a job based on their skills and qualification. e.g. if you are a designer, you look for available positions as a designer.

I believe that’s the wrong approach. Why?

Because you’ll end up finding lots of potential jobs, but it’s much harder to screen and determine if those companies align with your values (and even if they say they have those values – are they authentic about it).

Instead, I believe it’s better to find a company that you really respect/aspire/believe in. From there, find out if they have a position that suits your skills. Even if they don’t, you may still be able to convince them to create a role for you if you’re able to successfully convince them of your value and passion to work for them.

It works both ways, companies are also guilty for advertising jobs based on skills and qualifications first – I also believe that they should do it the other way around and advertise their mission/values first.

It’s much easier to screen for skills and much harder to screen for authentic values.